my new kettle whistles like a screaming girl holding on for dear life to the edge of a cliff, about to plummet 300 feet to her death.

my conclusion is that kettles do not, i repeat, DO NOT, whistle anymore. they scream and shriek for your attention like a spoilt brat. and if you don't give them what they want they'll probably slit their spouts and commit suicide.

so nervous was i that i yanked off my earphones, jumped to my feet and dashed like a mad chicken to the kitchen. i almost called 999.

and.

i had hiccups when i came back to my seat on the living room floor, in front of my lappy.

technology!